Recently, John Hawkins, a blogger who runs the Right Wing News site, published an article, 20 Phenomenal Fringe Benefits of Being a Liberal http://townhall.com/columnists/johnhawkins/2012/03/30/20_phenomenal_fringe_benefits_of_being_a_liberal.
It didn't take long for me to prepare a rebuttal:
20 Phenomenal Fringe Benefits of Being a
Conservative
1. All of your political ideas were created in the 1950s, so the only book you need in your library is your high school history textbook.
2. You can play the race card simply by accusing someone of playing the race card.
3. Because of your unique ability to hair-split any issue, you never have to take responsibility for anything.
4. When cornered in an argument, you blame the media.
5. When your candidate loses, you rationalize it by throwing that candidate under the bus by saying he was "never a conservative anyway."
6. When your candidate loses, you blame the "stupid voters."
7. When court cases don't go your way, you blame "activist judges."
8. Even though you yourself are a "recovered liberal," you hold liberals to everything that they ever did, even if it was 30 years ago and has no bearing on how they think/act today.
9. You can disparage women, blacks and other minorities, then claim that women, blacks and other minorities are abandoning the Democratic Party.
10. You support tax breaks for the wealthy, in the hopes that some of it will "trickle down" to you, even though it never does.
11. You claim to be of "family values," except when it involves visiting prostitutes, practicing your "wide stance" in an airport men's room or dumping your wife as she lays in a hospital bed for another woman (who you end up dumping for yet another woman).
12. You absolutely hate polls because they're controlled by the mainstream media and liberal interest groups so they are biased; so instead you only accept the results of polls controlled by conservative media and conservative interest groups because they're "not biased."
13. You deflect because you can. And you must.
14. Your favorite word is "no." And you use it. Often. Very often.
15. You believe in "less government"--except when it comes to the rights of women, gays and minorities.
16. You think "intellectual" is a bad word. So did Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin.
17. You have no problem with laughing at unflattering photos of Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama, but when someone makes fun of Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin or other conservative women, you accuse liberals of being petty and sexist.
18. You accuse liberals of having "double standards," but when your own double standards are pointed out you say "that's different."
19. You proudly note that the Republican Party "freed the slaves" as proof that the GOP has the best interest of minorities. Something that happened 150 years ago.
20. You're so unwilling to compromise on your principles that you would prefer to have America fail--just to make your point.
1. All of your political ideas were created in the 1950s, so the only book you need in your library is your high school history textbook.
2. You can play the race card simply by accusing someone of playing the race card.
3. Because of your unique ability to hair-split any issue, you never have to take responsibility for anything.
4. When cornered in an argument, you blame the media.
5. When your candidate loses, you rationalize it by throwing that candidate under the bus by saying he was "never a conservative anyway."
6. When your candidate loses, you blame the "stupid voters."
7. When court cases don't go your way, you blame "activist judges."
8. Even though you yourself are a "recovered liberal," you hold liberals to everything that they ever did, even if it was 30 years ago and has no bearing on how they think/act today.
9. You can disparage women, blacks and other minorities, then claim that women, blacks and other minorities are abandoning the Democratic Party.
10. You support tax breaks for the wealthy, in the hopes that some of it will "trickle down" to you, even though it never does.
11. You claim to be of "family values," except when it involves visiting prostitutes, practicing your "wide stance" in an airport men's room or dumping your wife as she lays in a hospital bed for another woman (who you end up dumping for yet another woman).
12. You absolutely hate polls because they're controlled by the mainstream media and liberal interest groups so they are biased; so instead you only accept the results of polls controlled by conservative media and conservative interest groups because they're "not biased."
13. You deflect because you can. And you must.
14. Your favorite word is "no." And you use it. Often. Very often.
15. You believe in "less government"--except when it comes to the rights of women, gays and minorities.
16. You think "intellectual" is a bad word. So did Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin.
17. You have no problem with laughing at unflattering photos of Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama, but when someone makes fun of Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin or other conservative women, you accuse liberals of being petty and sexist.
18. You accuse liberals of having "double standards," but when your own double standards are pointed out you say "that's different."
19. You proudly note that the Republican Party "freed the slaves" as proof that the GOP has the best interest of minorities. Something that happened 150 years ago.
20. You're so unwilling to compromise on your principles that you would prefer to have America fail--just to make your point.
(Mike Sorohan is a journalist and just another blogger who is pretty certain no one will see this.)
You're hardly "just another blogger," Mike. And you can be certain that ONE person saw this. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHoping others do see it. Did you tweet?
ReplyDeleteThey will see it now. Someone just posted about the fringe benefits of being liberal. And it was scathing. So glad you wrote this, as now I have something to retort. You go Mike!
ReplyDeleteHeh! Excellent, Mike. Can't wait until you post again.
ReplyDeleteRick.